I Got It From My Mumma
Will I Am’s 2007 Hit “I Got It From My Mumma” is our family’s mantra.
My mum is a glorious F cup and her three lady offspring don’t drop below an E.
Our boobs came in quick, which made puberty hell for us and for our poor dad who went bald worrying about all the boys he’d have to fight off his little girls.
Being twelve with giant boobs wasn’t easy. I’ll never forget the day I came home crying because Michael Donnelly decided to point out the fact that my boobs were bigger than Mrs Smith’s. He wasn’t wrong but that remark scarred me; it confirmed that I was different from everybody else and that other people noticed.
I’ve never told anyone this but during year 7, I wrapped my chest up in a bandage before I went to school every morning. I plastered them so tight I could hardly breathe and I had to go to the bathrooms to loosen the clip every couple of hours. At the time, they felt more like an injury than an asset.
Over time I’ve come to love my breasts and I think that’s largely due to having the right mindset, support network and gear to manage them.
My mum had some ripper advice for me growing up. You’ll laugh at some, cringe at others and nod in agreement at the rest.
In a world that tells you to hate your body, a girl needs someone to show her how to love it.
Your boobs are not a limitation.
This was a tough lesson to learn. I always believed I couldn’t play sport because of the size of my chest.
I couldn’t swim because I’d fall out of my bikini, I couldn’t do ballet because I’d jeté and knock myself out and I couldn’t play tennis because boobs aren’t made for bouncing.
My mum didn’t just tell me this was bullshit, she proved it. She took me to swimming lessons, she enrolled me into dance school and she cheered on the sidelines while I played tennis. In doing so, she taught me that there is absolutely nothing a big bust should stop you from doing.
You’re going to have to spend a hell of a lot of money on bras honey.
Before mum took me to play sport, she took me to purchase my first bra. While my friend’s crop tops cost $15, mine cost $150. I didn’t understand it at the time but I had a small back and big bust so bras were virtually impossible to find. Despite the extra expense mum always said “don’t go cluttering your cupboard with cheap shit Ali; a good bra is one of the best investments you will ever make.”
You should always feel sexy in your lingerie.
While my friends were in pink crop tops I was wearing lacy balconettes. My mum always told me that the secret to her confidence was sexy lingerie that fit right. Her underwear always matched and despite having four children and being a curvy size 14, she always looked great in her intimates!
When you go out you’re going to have to pick one to flaunt.
“Are you going for a short dress or for Cleavage Ali, boys can’t handle both your boobs and your bum, you’re going to have to pick one”. I’ve tested her theory and she was definitely right about this one.
It’s okay if you want them reduced.
My mother is a strong, body positive and assertive woman. Despite her confidence she has always given her daughters the choice to reduce the size of their breasts. My older sister chose to reduce them when she was 22.
Mum’s advice has always been to hold off and think about it first because there is no going back once you go under the knife. “There are scars, the trouble of breast feeding and other complications to think about. You can go on a holiday with that money Ali.”
The most important thing my mum has taught me is that my stomach can always be flatter, my bum can always be firmer and my boobs can always be perkier. If I focus on those things I will never be happy.
She always told me to go ahead and not to worry about such silly things – “common darling, you’ve got this”.
Alison Vella – a girl’s girl, a travel enthusiast, a sport fanatic and a cafe connoisseur. She lives by the moto “be brave, take risks, nothing can substitute experience” and freelance blogs to support her studies in media and communications.
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